A Resolution

I've talked to a few of my friends in the past couple weeks and each of them had asked me what my New Years Resolution is. Well, I don't have one. I didn't make one and haven't made one in the past couple of years. Usually when I do make one I end up breaking it within the first couple days of the month. So why bother, I thought?!

But, each of my friends went on to tell me what their resolutions are. Some had stopped smoking, needed to lose 10 pounds, weren't going to drink any more, cut soda and candy out of their diets, etc. Most of them had made huge progress with their resolutions and probably would make it a whole year sticking to them! Great for them! But not for me.

I am changing my mind about a resolution. I began to think about each friend and why they were doing what they were doing. But I am changing my mind with the idea that it isn't going to be just "New Years" resolution. If I am going to change something in my life it is going to be something that I won't be able to break and won't go back on. It is something that needs to change for good and can not change back.

I know that I can't stop eating candy....IMPOSSIBLE! I know that I can't stop drinking soda, every once in a while I definitely crave it and always give in! I could say that I will try to eat better, but I will do it for like a week and then I am back to eating pizza and hoagies ha ha ha. So to truly make a resolution that will be impossible to break it took me until now, 16 days after the deadline, to make one.

Here it goes.

I am going to be a better person. I know that is vague. And can be taking a lot of ways. This is my resolution. I will be a better person.

I have always been known as the "grumpy" one, or the "bitchy" one, the one that says what is one her mind and has no sensor. The "over exaggerator" or the "sensitive" one in any group. I am here to tell you I am going to make an extensive effort to change. The change won't happen over night, this I know. That is why I chose this to be my resolution. Something that will not be forgotten, that won't be broken, because it is not something that I can indulge in or give it up.

When I wake up in the morning I tell myself that it is a great day. I want to be happy. I tell myself to let things go. To not get upset over silly things like a mess Dorian made or dishes that need to be done, laundry needing folded, etc. I try not to get upset that my husband is gone and won't be back anytime soon.

By letting all of this go my day goes quicker, less stressful, and happier. I am becoming a better person. I am becoming a better mom. More attentive and focused on only my kids. I have more patience than before and in the process found more energy. I honestly need less sleep than before and have started to work out again. I feel better about myself.

I normally don't make resolutions but this year is an exception. I have been pregnant for the past two years, hormonal, and medicated. I am no longer any of those and feel that changes need to be made. I want to be a better person. This is my resolution.